Over the last five years, my family has experienced an odd housing phenomenon. I’ve taken to calling it the “Great Kirschner House Swap,” likening it to a game of musical chairs, except it is with houses.
At its root is a collission of aging parents/grandparents, our close-knit family’s desire to keep loved ones out of nursing homes and what I call “millennial economics.”
It all began back in 2014.
My grandmother, then 92, developed some health problems and was no longer comfortable living alone. My mother, a divorced empty nester, was living alone, too.
That same year, my sister Katie finished graduate school with two master's degrees and a mountain of student loans. Her fiancé Nick had his advanced degree and corresponding debt. Like many millenials, they quickly began to struggle with balancing their student loan payments, finding affordable housing, and trying to save for the other things they needed, like dependable transportation. (And, of course, a wedding.)
And so it began. Mom moved in with Grandma, and Nick and Katie moved into Mom’s house, the arrangement they all thought would last a couple years at most.
Fast-forward to 2017 and life had grown more complicated. Grandma, then 95, was "still here,” as she jokes.
Across town, my dad, a retired divorcee, was also alone in a home too big for him. Even worse, the neighborhood was going downhill quickly. Prostitutes and drug dealers appeared on the street corners at night and then robberies and shootings began occurring with growing frequency.
Dad was also awaiting a back surgery – his fourth. My sisters and I worried over him constantly. It didn’t help that he would sometimes go days without returning phone calls or answering our text messages! When the radio silence stretched too long, my sister Randi would stop by his house on the way home from work just to make sure he was still alive.
So, Carl and I proposed that Dad move to eastern Kentucky and build a small house on our land. He would be surrounded by nature, which he enjoys; could go hiking anytime he wanted; and would have plenty of space for his vegetable garden. I could also keep an eye on him and update my five sisters regularly. Having him a half-mile “down the ridge” would be a comfort to me, too. Carl’s 24-hour shift work at the fire department means I’m often alone.
After weeks of deliberation, and another shooting, Dad agreed. Shockingly, his house sold in a matter of days and just before Christmas 2017, he and his dog Sammy moved in. There were now three adults and three dogs sharing 600-square-feet.
By August, the music was increasing in pace and the housing scramble really heated up. Dad's surgery was in Cincinnati, Ohio, and he spent two months recovering there. First in Randi's home and then at Katie's. In late September he came back to Kentucky but his ping-pong trips between spare bedrooms has continued as he makes his follow-up appointments.
Then there is Mom and her longtime boyfriend Werner. After 17 years of dating, they now want to be together under one roof. After some house shopping, they decided to buy Grandma’s house and make some repairs and updates.
Katie and Nick, now married, decided they would buy Mom's house. Finally, they thought, they could buy their own furniture, cookware and light fixtures and move Mom's stuff out.
But last month, those needed repairs to Grandma’s house turned out to be much greater than expected and they had to move out temporarily. Where to? Werner’s house! (Thank goodness they waited to put it on the market...) Mom now has two storage units and an on-site storage Pod, and much to Katie and Nick’s frustration their basement and garage remains stuffed with her things too.
Meanwhile, my Dad is still living with us, in our only bedroom (we sleep in the loft), as his house slowly approaches completion.
And now, just as I finished writing this column, my youngest sister announced that after years of living on the East Coast, she has decided to move home and will also need a place to stay...
I’m just praying the music stops soon.